Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Politics: A Discussion

*sits in a plush red suede chair next to a crackling fire, quietly reading a book while smoking a pipe, soap bubbles floating lazily through the air. Makes a quick glance in your general direction, cue cheesy grin...

Oh, hai there, I didn't see you come in. Please, make yourself comfortable. Tonight's post will be a monologue concering my political (and perhaps religious) ideals. So let's start shall we? *throws another log on the fire.

As I breiefly mentioned in my first post, I consider myself a liberal atheist, though I don't always fit that model. In fact, as of late, I've found myself becoming less and less interested in politics altogether. You see, to paraphrase a webcomic that I recently stumbled upon, the only difference between a professional wrestler (or 'wrassler', depending upon which state you're from) and a politician is that with a politician, it's the ADULTS that insist that what they do is real. I do feel that there is something wrong with our government. Something like a cancer. Something embedded within the system that the government itself will never destroy or even acknowledge. Lobbyists. We have no real politicians anymore, we have talking puppets for the groups that gave them the most amount of money that last campaign. Prime example: While the CEO of BP was being questioned earlier this summer, Rep. Joe Barton of Texas declared "I do not want to live in a country where any time a citizen or a corporation that does something that is legitimately wrong is subject to a shakedown". Yeah. Think about that for a second. A REPUBLICAN from TEXAS. 1+1 = he probably received a lot of money from either drilling groups or maybe even BP specifically.

To put it another way, I'm convinced that if Adolf Hitler himself were to ride down Pennsylvania Avenue on a steed of Death and Destruction, while engaging in homosexual acts with Lucifer, one politician would stand and vehemently declare that something must be done to stop them, while another politician (who happened to receive funds from the Adolf Hiter fund during the last campaign) would argue "...eh. I mean, maybe Hitler really isn't THAT BAD of a guy. I mean, have any of you ever MET Mr. Hitler? His wife makes a fantastic stew. And what about little Jack and Jill Hitler? Little Jack asked his father for a gas chamber last Christmas. Unfortunately, Little Jack did NOT get his gas chamber, because of Obama's secret plans to put the hardworking American folks that work in the gas chamber industry out of work, calling it 'dangerous', and 'a threat to American security.' Now, I don't know about you all here in this chamber today, but that sounds like elitist rhetoric to me. I say we allow Mr. Hitler to continue his reign of death and destruction upon us, because he's doing what's right for America. I yield my time...NO, wait....um...Obama is a gay muslim communist who wasn't born in America. That is all."

tl;dr: Hitler having gay sex with Lucifer; gets defended by bribed politician.

Monday, August 30, 2010


That's right, kiddies. Thanks to the bloatware Microsoft have decided to cram into Xbox Live the last year or two, you're going to be paying the price. An extra $10 per year to be exact. OK, that's an extra 83 cents per month, why, might you ask, am I so butthurt over an extra 83 cents per month for the goodness that is Xbox Live?

Well, curious reader, my answer is simply that I don't like the idea of paying more for the same exact service. When this price hike kicks in in November, you dumb saps who decide to continue ponying up to Dear Leader Microsoft will be paying an extra ten dollars for absolutely no extra services. Existing services will continue to be offered, but nothing extra will be added. You're paying that money because the twelve-year-olds whose parents won't let them use the computer want to acccess facebook on a video game console. You're paying it because the 35-year old loner who still lives with his parents is just waaaay too interesting to twitter JUST from his computer, he has to tweet from his Xbox, too.

The only additional service that's even remotely worth considering a price hike would be the ESPN app they're bringing to Live, but since I'm not a sports fan, I'm going to pass and get what little sports info I want from espn.com.

Hell, even if they offered to bring back 1 vs 100 Live this Fall, I'd seriously consider the price hike (since Sprint no longer sponsors the show) if it meant participants still could win decent prizes. I hate to say it, but I don't see Xbox Live maintaining it's popularity for much longer. Why pay $60 per year when you can play for free with a PS3? Because it has Facebook? Twitter? Last.fm? ESPN? Hey, guess what, Microsoft. I HAVE A COMPUTER THAT CAN DO ALL OF THAT HURRRRDURRRR. I bought an Xbox to play video games and watch an occasional movie. Not to tweet, not to update my facebook status, not to find out what bands I might like.

But, on the plus side for Microsoft: COMING THIS FALL... HALO CLXXXVIIII (189, you plebes). I'm beginning to agree with my friends: If it weren't for Halo, the Xbox would have been dragged out to the field and shot years ago. Maybe now's the time.


Sunday, August 29, 2010

Welcome to the most awesomest blog ever created.

Well, I've finally decided to do it, to step into the outer fringes of the innernetz and create a blog. What will this blog be about? What important social topics will be discussed in this blog? How did I get here? Where in the world IS Carmen Sandiego? Take heart, dear reader, as I hope to answer these and all your other burning questions.

So, I suppose it would be prudent for me to introduce myself. I'm 22, a full-time college student at THE Ohio State University. majoring in How the Fuck Should I Know? I'm a junior, borderline Senior, was planning on majoring in Psychology, but I don't know that I'd be interested in another 4-6 years of graduate school, so I may be changing to Biology or Medical Technology, either one has the potential to pay out the wazoo. In my spare time I play video games, mostly on X360 and PC. I have a PS3, but it's the red-headed stepchild, and gets made fun of by my other platforms. I suppose if you must know my idealogical leanings, I would say that the closest cookie-cutter description would be a liberal atheist, though I find myself growing weary of the circle jerk that is American Politics. I may even decide not to vote this upcoming November (*GASP!).

So, that's about it for now. In my next post, I'll try to make things a little more interesting, maybe touch on some topics that interest me, since after all, I am the author of this blog.