Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Politics: A Discussion

*sits in a plush red suede chair next to a crackling fire, quietly reading a book while smoking a pipe, soap bubbles floating lazily through the air. Makes a quick glance in your general direction, cue cheesy grin...

Oh, hai there, I didn't see you come in. Please, make yourself comfortable. Tonight's post will be a monologue concering my political (and perhaps religious) ideals. So let's start shall we? *throws another log on the fire.

As I breiefly mentioned in my first post, I consider myself a liberal atheist, though I don't always fit that model. In fact, as of late, I've found myself becoming less and less interested in politics altogether. You see, to paraphrase a webcomic that I recently stumbled upon, the only difference between a professional wrestler (or 'wrassler', depending upon which state you're from) and a politician is that with a politician, it's the ADULTS that insist that what they do is real. I do feel that there is something wrong with our government. Something like a cancer. Something embedded within the system that the government itself will never destroy or even acknowledge. Lobbyists. We have no real politicians anymore, we have talking puppets for the groups that gave them the most amount of money that last campaign. Prime example: While the CEO of BP was being questioned earlier this summer, Rep. Joe Barton of Texas declared "I do not want to live in a country where any time a citizen or a corporation that does something that is legitimately wrong is subject to a shakedown". Yeah. Think about that for a second. A REPUBLICAN from TEXAS. 1+1 = he probably received a lot of money from either drilling groups or maybe even BP specifically.

To put it another way, I'm convinced that if Adolf Hitler himself were to ride down Pennsylvania Avenue on a steed of Death and Destruction, while engaging in homosexual acts with Lucifer, one politician would stand and vehemently declare that something must be done to stop them, while another politician (who happened to receive funds from the Adolf Hiter fund during the last campaign) would argue "...eh. I mean, maybe Hitler really isn't THAT BAD of a guy. I mean, have any of you ever MET Mr. Hitler? His wife makes a fantastic stew. And what about little Jack and Jill Hitler? Little Jack asked his father for a gas chamber last Christmas. Unfortunately, Little Jack did NOT get his gas chamber, because of Obama's secret plans to put the hardworking American folks that work in the gas chamber industry out of work, calling it 'dangerous', and 'a threat to American security.' Now, I don't know about you all here in this chamber today, but that sounds like elitist rhetoric to me. I say we allow Mr. Hitler to continue his reign of death and destruction upon us, because he's doing what's right for America. I yield my time...NO, wait....um...Obama is a gay muslim communist who wasn't born in America. That is all."

tl;dr: Hitler having gay sex with Lucifer; gets defended by bribed politician.

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